Matthew 18 is one scripture among many that commands us to forgive others. Forgiveness is a requirement...a non-negotiable for Christians, but what about forgetting?  We often hear the phrase "forgive and forget," but there is no verse in the Bible that uses this exact pairing of the two words.  If we are to forgive like our Heavenly Father, then it would stand to reason that we should forget like Him as well.  But does God forget or doesn't He?  In Hebrews 8:12, God says, "I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."  But Matthew 12:36 tells us we will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word we have spoken.  If God doesn't remember our sins, then why would we have to give account?  The two scriptures are seemingly at odds as are Paul's teachings to forget what is behind us (Philippians 3:13) yet remember what we used to be before we were saved (1 Corinthians 6:11).  So which is it - forget or remember?  I believe the answer is both.

Regarding God's forgetting and remembering, scripture clearly teaches that those who are saved are no longer under condemnation and have been completely exonerated of wrongdoing before Him.  By Christ's payment on the cross for our sins, we are covered by His blood and stand before God justified and guilt-free. As they relate to our salvation, our sins will never be remembered by God or held against us.  Salvation aside, the Bible also teaches that believers will face a judgment for the purpose of rewards.  While salvation is assured by the finished work of Jesus on Calvary and totally unrelated to our own works, rewards are gained or lost contingent upon our individual works on earth, and in this judgment, all of our deeds and words - both good and bad - will be remembered and taken into account.

So, just as it is possible for God to both forget and remember, the same is possible for us.  And just as God has specific purposes and benefits for forgetting our sins (i.e. in relation to our salvation) and for remembering our sins (i.e. in relation to our rewards), there are specific purposes and benefits to us forgetting or remembering them.  Remembering our past sins and our lost and pitiable condition prior to salvation helps keep us humble and fosters gratitude in our hearts for the wonderful grace and mercy that God has extended to us and how far He has brought us, for the great price that was willingly paid by Jesus on our behalf, and for the continual sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  But we should not dwell on our sinful pasts too long or remember them to the degree that it drags us down in utter discouragement.  After all, we have experienced forgiveness and have been given hope for a better future.  And this is where the forgetting comes in. Paul instructs us to forget what lies behind us - all manner of sinfulness and wickedness that we were formerly participants in - and he encourages us to press on toward greater things.

We can also apply this concept of both forgetting or remembering in the context of forgiveness.  I have been on both ends of forgiveness - as the recipient of it and as the grantor of it.  When we need to ask the forgiveness of others, our hope and desire is that they would also be able to forget the wrongs we have committed, but it seems when we are asked to forgive (or even when we haven't been asked to forgive but know we must), forgetting doesn't always easily follow suit.  Sometimes it seems to depend on the extent or severity of the wrong committed against us.  If we consider something a minor offense, we may easily let it pass and never think of it again.  But when we have been deeply wounded, even though we may forgive the transgressor, letting go of the memory of it is often difficult.  The mind is a complicated thing and the psychology behind why we release some things and cling to others varies from person to person and could fill volumes, but one thing is for certain - forgiveness does not equate amnesia; it does not wipe our minds of all recall.  On the contrary, I know from personal experience that, with very little effort and just a light digging beneath the surface, I can still resurrect an injustice done to me twenty years ago.  I don't often go there, but every now and again, the memory recurs.  If I let myself dwell upon that past hurt and if I linger there for an inordinately long time, negativity begins to dominate my mindset or, worse yet, my life, and unforgiveness seeks to dethrone the forgiveness that I had previously granted and committed myself to.  

Whether we like it or not, our past mistakes and the past wrongs done to us by others will always be part of our history.  The remembering or forgetting of them both have their rightful places and we must ask the Lord to help us find the proper balance and perspective.  Just the right amount of remembrance can teach us never to repeat our past wrong behaviors and can help us be wise in future interactions with those who have wronged us, but too much remembrance can discourage us or or make us feel unworthy of future Kingdom work or cause us to unnecessarily relive hurts that we previously let go.  Just the right amount of forgetting frees us from our pasts, gives us the liberty to move forward in newness of life, and helps us forge ahead in renewed fellowship with those who have transgressed against us, but too much forgetfulness causes us to lose sight of how utterly sinful we can be and how much we stand in need of God's grace, and it can potentially cause us to permit or condone bad behavior in others or repeatedly fall victim to those who would misuse or abuse us.

"Father, thank You that You have the magnificent capacity to both forget and remember and that, by creating us in Your image, You have granted that same capacity to us. Help us to understand the positive and negative aspects of both and to find that proper balance that would result in righteous living that is fully pleasing and acceptable to you.  Teach us to quickly and regularly confess our sins and wrongdoings to You as well as to those we offend and to ask for forgiveness.  Teach us to always be obedient in readily forgiving the offenses of others just as You have been faithful and just in forgiving ours. Amen."